Poo-Poo Beans

rehab

I'm tired. Not just physically tired but mentally. I am unofficially mentally exhausted. People like Demi Moore can afford to check their mentally exhausted yet freakishly toned and surgically enhanced bodies into posh facilities to rest. They can melt down in private or under the care of a well- trained psychiatrist. One who is able to decipher the frozen expressions of those unable to move their botulinum toxin-filled faces. The rich and famous check themselves into retreats in … [Read more...]

A Different Kind of Post

photo courtesy Photos by Colleen

This is one of those moments when I wish I was still blogging every day. That I was still actively involving myself in link-ups and writing prompts and commenting like crazy. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just concentrating on writing. I chose to turn around, retrace my steps and find the path I couldn't follow all those years ago. But I wish I was still out there speaking to all of you every day because I need your help. I'm hoping that those of you who visit No. 7 will take a moment to … [Read more...]

BAD MOTHER: Why I Didn’t Really Miss Them

Harraseekett

First, can I just tell you how incredibly lovely it was to spend 10 whole days away from my children? Go ahead, gasp and shake your head at my brazen statement. Jump to conclusions and assume I don't love my family. Send me hate mail. It won't bother me. I am relaxed. Ten days in the company of talented writers does that to a person. Ten days talking about what I love - words, books, writers, craft - ahhhhh. That Stonecoast winter residency was a very expensive spa retreat for my … [Read more...]

Distractions and Bad Hair Advice

courtesy SteviT Etsy Shop

Yesterday morning I sat on the couch perusing Etsy and watching Rachael Ray. I haven’t watched daytime television in months. Hell, I haven’t watched any television in months. Except for every single episode of the Vampire Diaries after discovering free episodes on Netflix two weeks ago. If you were wondering where I’ve been (humor me), my face was plastered to my iPad while I drooled over a hunky blood sucking monster named Damon. But I was talking about how I was loafing around … [Read more...]

Hot Off the Press!

My guest column has been published in The Portland Daily Sun! Feel free to click here to go check it out. or here: Motherhood and the Evils of Alcohol or click down there on that picture of me and my Grinch lips. or click the spot .... just kidding! I'm so thankful to my friend and fellow writer, Natalie Ladd. That's her column hosting my words today. A big thanks to my friends and family who are sharing the article like crazy!! … [Read more...]

A Mini Annie Leibovitz

securedownload6

I absolutely abhor having my picture taken. Mostly because I'm the most non-photogenic person in the world. It's been that way for most of my life, but now that I have a few more years under my belt, it's just ghastly. GHASTLY I tell you! So this morning my friend sent me an e-mail saying, "Send me a headshot and a bio asap and we'll run your column." Did I forget to tell you that my friend Natalie Ladd asked me to appear as this month's guest columnist at the Portland Daily Sun? Well, … [Read more...]

Heavenly

courtesy of Westin at Home

Occasionally, my husband has meetings in Manhattan that require an overnight stay. I’m not going to go on and on about how this makes me jealous. I won’t call him a jerk for callously stating his night in a mid-town hotel just “isn’t all that much fun” on his Facebook status. I won’t share the details about how I read that insensitive statement moments after my finger inadvertently slipped into a poo-filled diaper. I just won’t. But good Lord…I miss overnights in New York … [Read more...]

Some Guilt, a Flasher and Cookie Swaps

Late October 11 Halloween 087

Preschool Parent Helper. The very words fill me with a debilitating mixture of paralyzing dread and delight. I know, that’s confusing and slightly crazy sounding, but it’s true. Ten years ago I would have been all sorts of excited to be the parent helper. I’d have bought in some kind of super-duper Martha Stewartish cupcakes or cookies with sprinklers and confetti bombs attached. These days, we aren’t allowed to bring those kinds of snacks to school. We’re reduced to … [Read more...]

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad…

blair&Jo

A few weeks ago, Dave and I met with a psychiatrist that works with Joe’s school. It was our first meeting. You know, kind of an informational session…these are our concerns…the pediatrician thinks it’s Asperger’s, the therapist thinks it’s social anxiety and there’s a two-year wait for the specialist that will eventually give us the real skinny. Anywho… Joe has actually been doing much better. We recently switched his ADHD medication for a new one. No sleep issues and his … [Read more...]

Who Cut Zee Cat’s Viskers?

nov 265

Last weekend we spent approximately 10 minutes fervently interrogating our children. If I had my druthers, I would have tied each of them to a chair and perhaps threatened the use of dental tools while a naked light bulb swung over their little heads. In my fantasy, David and I sound like Dr. Szell, our thick German accents threatening dental torture sans anesthesia unless… You must tell us…who cut zee catz viskers? Besides a vague reference to a movie filmed before my tens of … [Read more...]