Monday

I spent the last seven days of my life immersed in writing samples, trying to select the perfect pieces for my residency’s manuscript submission. Thank God for David who took the bull by the horns and dealt with the financial aid stuff, made dinner for the family all weekend and entertained the kids while I sat at my computer telling them all to shut the hell up. I hate noise when I’m under pressure.

One of the side effects of ADHD is that when I’m focused on something with a deadline, something that needs to be just right, I’m not capable of acting like a normal human being. I forget everything else. I’m sure that to the rest of the world I appear to be a complete moron. David understands this. He might not necessarily appreciate it, but he gets it and works with me. He flips the pancakes that I started then walked away from to go clean the bathroom. Thanks to David, the house doesn’t burn down.

I picked my essays and started fine-tuning them yesterday afternoon. I felt good. Yup, I had it all together. No sign of any ADHD induced memory lapses at all. David and I even stayed up later than 9:00 last night.

This morning I was exhausted, yet for some reason when I rolled out of bed, I decided to flat iron my hair and slap on some makeup before driving Gwen to preschool. If only I had taken off the t-shirt that I slept in and put on a bra.

We were walking up to the front gate of the preschool when Gwen asked, “I’m the leader today, right Mommy?”

You know those dreams where you show up for school/work/your wedding and you’re naked? Yeah, well that’s how I felt as I stood on the sidewalk in front of Gwen’s preschool when I realized that it was my day to be parent helper. Technically, I was late, I didn’t have the fruit for snack, I didn’t bring a roll of paper towels and most alarming, I wasn’t wearing a bra.

I wracked my brain, trying to recall the contents of the mini-van, praying that I’d left a sweater in there at some point. For a brief moment, I was relieved when I remembered that I took my bra off at a red light a few weeks ago. Then I remembered that I hated that bra, took it off because it was uncomfortable and threw it in the trash at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru.

image courtesy Google image search

We walked inside and I apologized profusely to the preschool teacher who, by the way, I swear is a direct descendant of Mary Poppins. She was totally cool with our late arrival and full of ‘don’t worries’ and ‘no problems’.

Sighing, I took off my coat and tried to pretend it wasn’t cold. I was thankful for the thin camisole I was wearing under the t-shirt. I took a deep breath and held my head high, as if going braless was a conscious decision and then Gwen said, “ummmm, Mommy…are you wearing your booby traps or no?”

I spent the morning playing memory match, circle time and serving snacks in what was, technically, my pajamas. Kate, who had dressed herself this morning, was clad in a pair of pants, a sweater dress and a pajama top. Her hair was sticky from breakfast. I tried to brush it with my fingers and ended up tucking it behind her ear.

That was my day.

image courtesy Google image search

Comments

  1. Sparkling says:

    I am dying! DY-ING. I love that you threw your bra in a Dunkin Donuts trash can. I love that Gwen calls them booby traps because so do I!!!

  2. Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy says:

    Oh, my gosh…you crack me UP. I had to read the part about the forgotten pancake flipping to my husband. It sounds JUST like me. He and your David would probably get along fabulously, commiserating with one another about their sometimes flighty, sometimes coherent wives.

    And the part about your bra…I DID that, except I totally did it at work. For some reason, I forgot to put on my bra one day a few years ago. All day I had no bra and went around feeling horribly self-conscious. Like you, I tried to hold my head high and act as if I meant to not wear a bra, but I'm such an over-sharer that by the end of the day everyone knew I wasn't wearing a bra because idiot me had TOLD them.

    Don't you just love days like this?

  3. Midnight Oil Momma says:

    HIL ARI OUS!!!! I can't stop giggling! I am sorry I am laughing at your expense, but you are so darn funny!! Thank you for the pick me up.

  4. Oh boy lol! You had yourself quite the day!

  5. Slidecutter says:

    You get a "Pretty Damn Funny" on this one, my friend.

    I've often wondered if it was my ADHD or personality that makes me go into a rage when I'm involved in a project and someone invades my think-space. Like my spouse who just started asking me questions about a class I'm teaching this week-end…while I was using the Water-Pik. WTF?

    Undressing at a red light; dumping your booby traps at a Dunkin Donuts. Only you!

    Love it!!!

  6. Oh man that was hilarious. I am laughing from Gwen's point of view because my mom, at my cheerleading banquet when I was in 9th grade, got up, went to the bathroom, and returned sans bra which she had thrown in the trash because she was one of those bra-burning hippies and she couldn't contain the girls anymore! She'll love you for it when she's older. I'm glad you survived 😉

  7. my3littlebirds says:

    You are a better woman than I am. I would have faked an asthma attack or something and been OUT OF THERE. But don't be like me.

  8. Rancher Mom says:

    Bras are evil, and if it weren't for the fact that I would give myself black eyes and probably knock small children unconscious, I would go bra-less all the time.
    The whole, dumping your bra at the Dunkin' Donuts had me in tears, too funny!

  9. Stephanie says:

    Wow, that's a rough day. My favorite is that you threw away your bra at Dunkin Donuts. Awesome.

    Thanks for stopping by my site – now following you!

  10. LesleyRH says:

    Booby traps…haha.

  11. Samantha Collier says:

    I'm not sure what I love more: the word booby-trap or how much i identify with your post! I've taken my daughter to preschool without shoes and that was hard to explain too 🙂

  12. Elena (Running in Heels After Child) says:

    I love it, I can make it though my day without a lot of things but not with out my bra. Before kids I used to go to the gym before work and I forgot everything at one time or another, I could make it though my day comando but not with out a bra, I would just have to be late to work.

    elena

Trackbacks

  1. The Horror! says:

    […] reason, last Thursday I thought it was a fantastic idea…for about 15 minutes. I found a new booby trap that isn’t meant for a 12 year old girl just beginning bud. I know, that’s exciting […]

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