I wrote this piece after a dream that I had a few weeks ago. I’m not quite sure what it is other than the movie that played through my sleeping brain. My brother is alive and well and our farmhouse never exprienced a fire of any kind. If anything, what I wrote is simply a metaphor for how I felt when we moved from our beloved farm and lived seperately from one another following the divorce of our parents.

Last night I dreamed of our farmhouse.

The white horse galloped past the fence, drawing my eyes beyond to the orange bloom of rising flames.

I began to move forward and watched fire lick the sky.

It raced through the field behind the house, coming to burn our memories.

In the yellow bedroom, my brother watched from the window.

Then, together, we soaked the house with water from a hose.

Tiny fires ignited at our feet.

We stepped back to watch our lives burn,


He turned and began to walk away.

Moving in opposite directions,

I watched as he was swallowed by the smoke.

We never said goodbye.


  1. This is so sad…crying…thankful that I have both of you still! <3

  2. Oh, Kelli. Sometimes there are no words. And yet, I’ve found that words can somehow help to heal. Your gift of writing helps keep your memories, even the bad ones, alive forever. It’s both a gift and a curse. This was beautifully written and touching and haunting. The image of the white horse juxtaposed against the orange flames, the grey smoke, the yellow bedroom. The horse seems to escape (or maybe even carry the fire?), and yet you and your brother both are trapped…each in your own ways.

  3. Defeated?

    At that very painful moment in time, perhaps.

    You have moved beyond many sad memories, stepping forward into all that you are, here and now.

    These experiences are paving the way to all you will achieve with your outstanding writing.

    “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. I’m so amazed that you are able to write about such bad times. Bless your heart.

  5. Oh my gosh – soo sad. Sorry – that must be a very painful thing to think about or write about. 🙁

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