Birthday Month

*Editor’s note: the use of “awesome” multiple times in the following post is for ironic purposes only. No superheroes were harmed in the making of this post. Neither were ninjas or hippopotamuses.

*Editor-in-chief’s note: The initial spelling of hippopotamuses threw us for a loop. We had to consult Google for spell check. We were wrong.

Hi. I’m Mollie from OK in UK. I’m among the select elite Chosen babysitting your favourite (and mine) blog. Here’s the conversation I had with #7 a few days ago about that very thing…

#7: So I’m going to this awesome writer’s retreat for my awesome head. I want you to write awesomeness for my awesome blog. A famous author is going to critique my writing because it’s so awesome.

Me: Oh sweet Jeebus, that’s awesome! Um, when are you going?

#7: Next week and you’re Saturday.

Me: Huh. Yeah, I can do that. It’s not like I’m moving that week nor am I hosting my daughter’s 4th birthday party or even getting ready to go out for my first night on the “Toon”.

(oh wait, yes I am doing all those things on that day/week)

#7: Perfect! Oh, and you’re gonna have to use WordPress. It’s awesome.

Me: (sotto voce) Mutha#$@&%*!  (out loud) Oh, I’ve wondered about that and how it works compared to Google Blogger.

#7: I heard that! Don’t worry, I won’t be all Scumbag Steve and leave you hanging around, wondering how it works. It won’t be like I’m all busy. Don’t forget, there’s Twitter where you can tweet for help!

Me: Great! Do you care what I write about?

#7: No, but it should be awesome so I don’t lose followers.

Me: That’s a lot of pressure. I’ll do my best! (salutes with a half full wine glass)

And so, here we are, you and me. True story.

I tend to appreciate multitaskers superhard and I also admire those women who pretend to be such. I’m one of them, I think. To prove my point…

  1. I got married on the same weekend as I graduated from college.
  2. Twice, I forced my 30-some odd years divorced parents to spend Christmas with me at the same time. Both have remarried since so that day’s gotten pretty awkward over the years.
  3. I moved my family across the Atlantic Ocean the same week my husband defended his thesis and was awarded his doctorate. And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Yeah. Our university gives out tshirts to successful PhD candidates. It's now my sleep shirt because The Man refuses to wear it.

 

 

 

So, really, it makes tons of sense to me that I guest post for dearest KFC#7 during the busiest month for my little family. Oh, the ‘C’ stands for “Champion” which is Brit-Geordie-speak for “awesome”.

Why’s it the busiest? Okay. First off, you got the fourth of July gatherings and plans to accomplish.  This is everybody’s deal, not just ours and if it isn’t, then you’re going to hell because you ain’t all patriotic and shit. VIVA EL PRESIDENTE!  VIVA EL CONGRESO ASAMBLEA NACIONALE! VIVA EL WEINER Y EDWARDS! Nevermind me, I don’t speak Spanish. All I really know how to say is, “where is the bathroom/library?” and some massive spiel about a white napkin named ‘Blutus’.

Blutus is a good napkin. A ‘muy bueno servilleta’. Anyway.

So after the 4th then, comes the birthdays. July 10th, my sister-in-law. July 15, me. July 17, my daughter, Kiddo. July 27, my husband, The Man.  In addition, numerous friends and distant relatives that I’ll not bore you to death with. My point is, July is a busy month and so was Halloween for our parents.

What am I doing this week? Well, I gotta buy pillows and sheets and teacher gifts. Teacher gifts at the end of the year are a big deal here. I gotta buy thank you cards, pick up and pay for the cupcakes, because there was no way in hell I’d be able for the challenge of baking on my 12” by 12″ countertop workspace. Then there’s presents to buy for Kiddo. She’ll be four. Please send cashier’s checks, not cash. Thanks.

I gotta stress out over the number of children that are RSVP’d and the ones that haven’t…must notify the venue for the final count too, because you pay by the head. I gotta call to switch over and change addresses for bills such as gas, electricity, water, Council Tax, internet, phones, and banking. Oh, while I’m at it, might as well pay the £8.00 fee to have our mail forwarded to our new address.

Yeah, mail forwarding isn’t free here. Ah yah, and I’ll be doing this all without a car. Don’t forget, I mentioned my birthday? Same day that Harry Potter 7.2 comes out? Am I seeing it that night?

No, it’s already sold out. But it’s going to be awesome when I do get to see it!

Oh yeah sure, I guess I kinda sorta need the adrenaline rush from the stressor-beta-blockers jibbety jabs that help me feel like I’m getting something done. Helps me to channel my inner superheroic ninja hippopotamus.

An OKinUK original.

So what did we* learn from this experience?

No, I will not be making the switch to WordPress. I used to blog on a platform similar to WP. But for all of its things that go wrong, Blogger ain’t all that bad. It has the simple approach rather than a complicated interface.

Yes, I’ve made the decision to be more aware of my calendar of events. In fact, I’m buying a calendar.

No, one cannot force awesomeness. It must be inadvertent to be genuine without being ironic…or pitiful.

Yes, I can still write about pretty much nothing and it turns out to be a blog post.

And that’s about it. Thanks Kelli, for the crash course in the awesomeness (non-ironically) that is Narragansett #7.  I hope one day that this week will be seen as a good experience for you, even if it hasn’t gone the way you hoped.

*by we, we mean ‘royal we’ because we’re still aiming for some modicum of awesome.

Comments

  1. Mollie, you never fail to impress me!

    With, or without, a calendar, you seem to keep life across the big pond in excellent order. But, dang you woman! That super-hero mammal comment made me think back to a totally ridiculous holiday song called…”I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas” which will now be crashing through my head for the rest of the day.

    Excellent post, my friend!!

  2. That sounds awesome! Sorry, couldn’t resist. 😉

  3. OMG……Have an awesome Birthday, Mollie!

    Hugs!!!

  4. You are the most AWESOME of the awesome moms and multi-taskers ever! What a great post! It reminded me of Seinfeld…a whole show about nothing…brilliant!!

  5. Awesome post:) Hope you had a lovely birthday.

  6. Wait…The Brits celebrate July 4th?

  7. p.s. Mollie, Blogger no longer allows me to leave you comments. Do you have “stalker blocker” technology?

  8. Mollie…you are always an entertaining read. Love it. This was a great post. But I never had doubts it wouldn’t be! Hugs to you Sweetie!!

  9. TexaGermaNadian says:

    Haha, great guest post, Mollie! Ya’ll did such a fun job on this. Good luck with the party today and the party-hartying you are up to tonight!! So many July birthdays, what a great family 🙂

  10. Please tell me you force awkward divorced/remarried new spouse in attendance Christmases on your parents! Because I live for tales of the awkward.

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