I Was Angry

Who loves back to school shopping with preschoolers and elementary school children? Shoe shopping is especially fun, no? We’ve visited a shoe store here in Southern Maine that inspired me to write Yelp review. Here it is.

What’s the fastest way for a business to inspire me to write a Yelp review? Mostly, by being amazing. By offering tremendous, friendly and helpful assistance because that’s what sales associates should do. Right?

Alternatively, Lamey-Wellehan Shoes in South Portland Maine inspired me to write a Yelp review for an entirely different reason. Because they suck. That’s right, I said that they suck.

In the year and a half that we have lived in Portland, Maine, we have visited this store at least 4 times. I wanted to like them but I can honestly say that on each and every occasion, they have sucked. Let me list some of the reasons why they suck.

  1. There is never enough staff.
  2. If there is enough staff, they are too busy chatting with each other or hiding in some location other than the area where I am standing and waiting for someone to bring me a shoe…or notice that I’m breathing.
  3. They don’t know how to measure children’s feet.
  4. They clearly don’t really want to measure children’s feet.
  5. They only offer to help you if you venture into the women’s shoes and feign interest in nurse clogs.

Okay, I could go on and on here but mostly, I’d like to point out to the sales staff at Lamey-Wellehan Shoes in South Portland that they are selling COMFORT CLOGS. You are not the shoe salon in Saks Fifth Avenue. Get over yourselves.

Also, I wholly apologize that my two year old daughter had the audacity to pick up a handful of your artfully arranged silk flowers. You clearly spent a huge amount of time placing them amongst your comfort clogs and orthopedic sandals. Nothing says, YAY, buy some Jesus sandals! more than tacky dollar store flowers.

Seriously, how dare she! I especially enjoyed the loud and annoyed observation made by one of your 20-something associates, “Ugh, she’s stealing the flowers!” Paired with her sneer of disgust, the whole statement smacked of professionalism.

Don’t worry,  I beat my daughter as soon as we left and called her an asshole for ruining your display. (Do I have to point out that I’m kidding about that last part?)

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that perhaps when a mother with three children is standing in the children’s area for 10 minutes waiting for some help, you might venture over and, I don’t know…HELP? We didn’t come in to hang out and play at Lamey-Wellehan. We came in to buy new shoes. Do you have idea how difficult it is to get three children fed, bathed, clothed and buckled into their carseats? That’s a four hour process! So at some point, your lack of attention is going to annoy me so much that I will let my kids pick up that giant Croc and throw it at each other. I will allow them to make a mess and I will not make them pick it up. Because I’m spiteful and you’re jerks.

Also, professional shoe sales people of Lamey-Wellehan…I would suggest that perhaps you actually make a practice of checking out the shoes a potential customer is wearing. High quality means she’s ready to spend, right? If you see a woman in a pair of Gucci loafers you might want try selling some shoes to her.

I did spend. I spent big bucks on my children’s shoes at another shoe store. 4 strikes and you’re out. Considering that my children are 2, 5 and 7 years old, we have a whole lot of shoe purchases ahead of us…

Well, have to go now. Shoes.com is running a special on comfort clogs.


*no offense to comfort clog fans, nurses or Jesus sandals. All insults were solely intended for the sales associates who we have encountered at this particular shoe store. Also, I’m sure that many of you have had perfectly lovely experiences there. Congratulations.
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  1. How can businesses even be in business who do business like that? It’s insane. But also why I buy EVERYTHING online (well….except my goodwill purchases OF COURSE)

  2. This so reminds me of Marshall’s shoe store in Carmel; now I’m angry just thinking about the asshole who owns that dump and sizes everyone up according to what they wear.

    My final trip to that store was after the creepy owner insulted my daughter when she went in, wearing scrubs from her, then, job at an animal hospital. She asked the jerk a question and his reply was curt…”I don’t think there’s anything here suitable for you.” No effort to do anything other than stand there, looking at her as if she was not worth wasting his time. Once I heard what happened, I was in there within one hour, designer bag over my shoulder and angry feet wearing my fav Donald Pliner’s and, of course, he almost fell over himself running to wait on me, recognizing me from being a frequent buyer in his store.

    There’s no need for me to go into what I told him but when I was done, he stood there with his mouth hanging open. And, like you, I’ve posted as many negative comments as possible about his store everywhere I can.

    Good for you in letting Lamey-Wellihan have it on Yelp! I’m curious as to any manager present in that store while you were there; assuming that only the $7 an hour imbeciles that you dealt with were running the show.

  3. Ugh, that is so frustrating! I’m so glad you didn’t buy shoes there! Big, dumb jerks!

  4. Please tell me that you copied this entire blog post into a Yelp review because I think this just made my day.

  5. Customer service is dead. And can I just say that THIS is the kind of review I want to read when I visit a blog? Does that make me sadistic?

  6. One, thanks for writing this review, because I was seriously considering going to that particular store to pick up some shoes for work (I actually could use some comfort clogs, haha, but I can get them elsewhere).

    Two, I showed this to my dad and he was horrified, being a shoe salesman in his other life. Neither one of us could believe the level of rudeness (or how hilarious a shoe store review could be!).

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