Sometimes I’m a Big D-bag

I’m forced to eat my own snarky words. As I type, I’m noshing on a giant bowl of sarcasm and snide comments.

Were you here when I made fun of the piles of dirt delivered on our 10th anniversary? I mean, really… after ten years you’d think he’d know that I’m going to poke fun at something like $200 dollars of soil coinciding with the very day we professed our undying love.  Those piles of dirt filled with rocks and debris nearly begged me to write about them. In fact, they pleaded.

The honest truth is that my father-in-law bought that dirt for us. Thanks, Pops. I was just funnin’ y’all.

So, despite Dave’s lack of foresight I truly attempted to control myself…but we all know that I have no self-control. I wrote a blog post about it. I Facebooked about it. I think I might have even tweeted about it after a glass or two of wine. (I have a vague memory of doing so, so let’s just say I hit Twitter after three *large* goblets glasses of wine and threw my man under the bus.)

Ultimately, Dave got pissed and may or may not have called me a douchebag. For a few minutes we bickered like a couple of people who have been married for ten years, partially laughing while precariously balancing on the edge 0f a joke that’s about turn sour. Taking my dirt pile related sarcasm public was the final straw and now I’m forced to eat, well…dirt.

Last weekend David built this…

Our friend Rob helped and so did I, mostly because I can’t help but insert myself in whatever project is afoot. You know something? It is actually satisfying to see this cool rock wall that we built for our tenth anniversary. There’s something way more permanent about a stone wall than I don’t know… what the hell did I want? A weekend away? A year’s worth of babysitting so we could have a night out each week? Those would have been nice, but somehow this is just as exciting. Also, a technicality allows me to claim that my husband gave me some serious rocks…just not the kind that sparkle.

The “nice” dirt is on the way and we have all winter to figure out what we’re going to plant.

I’ve officially been taken off the douchebag roster and gifted with a new pair of tall chocolate-brown suede leather boots with a kitten heel, a beautiful merino sweater, a scarf and several shirts from Talbots.


  1. You may be a Dbag but I love you anyway Kelli : )

  2. That is a lovely wall.

  3. Those are some kick ass presents! And I heart the wall 🙂

  4. I didn’t realize that the 10 anniversary was the year of dirt. I thought it would be cracked plastic or something. Maybe that’t the 20 year. That’ll be us next year. Then we can give each other broken slurpee cups or something. Who am I kidding? We never get each other anything for our anniversary!

  5. Love the wall!
    It’s okay that you ended up on the D-Bag List, because you earned your way off of it. Just know that should you ever do it again? I hear Dave has a seriously long Time Out wall you’re gonna have to stand at. So watch it, girl.

  6. Nice wall! But the dirt . . . on your anniversary . . . I still get the irritation.

  7. I totally see how this unfolded, but I think you’re being pretty hard on yourself. I’m sure you appreciated the dirt/wall, but it is pretty hard not to laugh at how much our lives have changed. We love these new gifts of family life, but we are self-conscious that they are not what we wanted before…you know, when we were so youthful and (in our memories) fabulous.

    I drool for your rock wall! Enjoy!

  8. I love the wall!! I love that it means something and my brother is a mason so I know that your husband saved a ton of $ building it himself, so that’s perfect too!!! Happy 10th anniversary! Mine is next month too:)

  9. TexaGermaNadian says:

    Haha, I remember that post. You are too funny. I am glad that the dirt turned out great. That stone ledge looks awesome. Ahhh, romance and dirt. Perfect 10 years together, haha.

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