BAD MOTHER: Why I Didn’t Really Miss Them

First, can I just tell you how incredibly lovely it was to spend 10 whole days away from my children? Go ahead, gasp and shake your head at my brazen statement. Jump to conclusions and assume I don’t love my family. Send me hate mail.

It won’t bother me.

I am relaxed.

Ten days in the company of talented writers does that to a person. Ten days talking about what I love – words, books, writers, craft – ahhhhh. That Stonecoast winter residency was a very expensive spa retreat for my soul.

Harraseekett Inn photo courtesy Kerri Dieffenwierth

It didn’t hurt that we were eating and sleeping at the Harraseeket Inn in Freeport. I spend the first few days quietly humming, Heaven, I’m in Heaven…then realized that people were staring.

I didn’t wash a dish or make a bed for TEN entire days.  I was not required to cook, wipe hineys or perform booger removal. There were no fights to break up, no need to remind anyone to wash their junk and the scent of poo never wafted to my nose as other humans passed by.


Of course on some level (buried so deeply inside my ecstatic mind that it hardly registered) I missed my family. I love them dearly. Really. So I refrained from looking at too many pictures and I tried to avoid my husband’s Facebook updates while he documented his single parent experience.

It was my family who seemed riveted to his posts. You see, among my people there aren’t many men who would stay home for ten days and assume the role of Mr. Mom. I’m amused by the way my family eyeballs Dave with a mix of suspicion and skepticism, always wondering exactly what his deal is – if perhaps he’s slightly touched. 

After ten years, the women have grown to love him and the men…well, he confuses the shit out of them. They don’t come around much.

All I know is that I came home to a clean house, happy children and one amazing man.

I’ve been back for nearly a week now. I walked through the door suffering from exhaustion but strangely recharged. My state of post-residency fatigue made it an interesting week. Fatigue led me to do some stupid things and a blog post will follow, but for now I am simply glad to be home. Mostly because ten days away from my children actually caused them to miss me thus, they have been angels for the past week. Either that or ten kid-free days soothed my raw nerves.

Whatever…check back in a few days because this morning my right eye started to twitch and Kate called Joe an “ass.” Something tells me that life will be business as usual by Tuesday afternoon.


  1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder is more than just a cliche, right? I personally think you’re an EVEN BETTER mother for being able to admit that YES, sometimes you do need a break from your kids. You’re able to be honest with yourselves and others. And while other people may point and gasp at that honesty, because they don’t have the balls to be honest themselves, I applaud you.

    I know those ten days have honed your wonderful skills even further, and I anxiously anticipate future posts, memoirs, and books.

  2. Oh, and kudos to your hubby! I have a good one, too, and I know how awesome and rare that is.

  3. I’m glad you had a relaxing getaway! So how many more of these are in your future? I might…EXTEND MY DEGREE. 😉

  4. I just had this conversation with my girlfriend/mother of 2 yesterday. I was saying that I think it is funny when snobby mothers give me sneers of disapproval when I make sarcastic comments about the non-joys of motherhood (not that there aren’t plenty of amazing moments). We both agree that those are the mothers with pent up aggression that go on a killing spree.

  5. Well done you. Very happy to hear you got to go on an away trip.

    My eye was twitching the other day too! I couldn’t get it to stop! Had nothing to do with my end; am positive it was leftover energy from your end.

    • Anytime I can spread some of my stress and related eye-twitching across the pond, I will. Share, share it’s only fair!

  6. That. Sounds. Delicious.

  7. I recently got a bunch of hate mail, calling me bitter and angry!!!! Ha!!! I am actually quite happy….well a little snark…..a little bit of honest hating on some parts of motherhood….
    Apparently some people don’t like that…..
    Well I love you and am quite jealous of your getaway…..

  8. Yet another fabulous post by you 🙂 I am glad you were able to recharge your batteries!!

  9. Good for you!

  10. Haha, I don’t blame you at all. I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d probably want a vacation. Ten days without a roommate even sounds wonderful.

  11. Glad to have you back! Sounds like an absolutely amazing 10 days and kudos to hubby!!

  12. Kelli so glad to see you’re back girlfriend! 🙂 I am happy you love us and trust us enough to tell us the truth about what it is like (now, if only *I* knew firsthand!) to escape the clutches of motherhood for 10 whole days!!! Wow. I think if anybody out there misunderstood, it would be because they didn’t want to be honest with themselves that we could all use a break like that.

    Plus, the fact that you were able to enjoy yourself so much is indicative of how confident you are able to feel in the abilities of your awesome hubby! And that your kiddos are emotionally strong enough to handle it fine, because they are so well cared for and loved by you both. So much can be read between the lines!

    That’s what I always love about your writing: You strike the perfect balance between upfront, humorous rapport… and letting us gather the details we *should be* smart enough to gather for ourselves. You rock dolly! 🙂 LILAS (Hahaha remember that? But yeah, totally, LILAS.)

    • I captured myself one heck of a man! It’s easy to be away when you know the kids are happy and you’re doing what you love. It doesn’t hurt that the people in my MFA program are so incredibly AWESOME!

      Thanks for stopping by!

Speak Your Mind