Exhibit No. 2 (below) shows me one full year after the photo in Exhibit No. 1 was taken. Notice that I was still riding the pretty train, looking fit and well-rested. I was running four times a week at that point. You can tell right? The gym was within walking distance to our apartment and they had free babysitting. God bless the Oak Square YMCA. I miss you.
Then we moved away and purchased what I consider to be the mother of all Pretty Suckers.
Just when we began tearing down 150-year-old plaster walls, we were struck with some rather unexpected news.
Pretty Sucker extraordinaire was born nine months and one scaled back kitchen renovation later. Bathroom renovations? Forget about it. Walk in closet? Yeah, that became a pooky-pink nursery. Have you ever lived through construction in a 150-year-old house? That old horsehair plaster dust sure can travel! Not to mention the possibility of lead dust, the four steep and narrow staircases and drafty windows. So we sold the mother of all Pretty Suckers to provide a safe, warm and comfortable habitat for our little Pretty Suckers.
Pretty Sucker Number Three looks like a beautiful, quiet baby doesn’t she? Look at her peaceful newborn slumber. Breathtaking, isn’t it? *sigh*
Well, here’s the reality of Pretty Sucker Number Three’s first two years.
Sometimes the Pretty Suckers can’t control their vicious nature and they are forced to squish themselves into small hiding places to avoid public detection. On the day that this photo was taken (Refer to Exhibit No. 9), Pretty Sucker Number Two was feeling particularly vicious. It hid in this spot at LL Bean in Freeport for 20 full minutes before re-emerging in the form of a child. Under no circumstances should you approach a Pretty Sucker during this heightened state of agitation. They will scream very loudly and there is a strong possibility of a nasty bite. Slowly back away and pretend to ignore the Pretty Sucker. Attempt to make eye contact with the horrified adults in the general vicinity while pretending that the Pretty Sucker belongs to someone else. If possible, laugh and snap a few pictures, but do so from a distance to avoid further provocation.
The male Pretty Sucker is relatively quiet and has a terrific sense of humor. These days he tends to leave me and my minuscule amount of remaining beauty alone. That is, if I allow him to assume his alter ego and scare the other two Pretty Suckers.