Family Photos

It has become quite clear…grandparents, aunts and uncles don’t share our humor. In fact, they despise the very photos that make us laugh. Apparently, they expect pictures of sweet, squeaky-clean and smiling toddlers clad in white smocked dresses and crisp button down shirts. In other words, they simply adore fake photos.

One LUCKY shot

Well, sure that was simple enough back when we had one kid and extra hours to burn with endless poses. Here’s Joe in the bathtub, here’s Joe next to the bathtub, here’s Joe standing up, here’s Joe sitting down…you get the gist. I’m as much of a sucker for a cute picture as the next sap, but come on…sometimes the most unflattering photos provide the most genuine glimpse of a day in the life.

Dave and I are fans of what we call Reality Photography. I’m the first to admit that, at times, our humor tends to be somewhat twisted. We’ve been known to send photos to our parents aimed at making them question both our mental capacity and parental abilities. You know, to make them wonder exactly where they went wrong…(insert evil laugh here).

No, Gwen was not hit by the car. She was making a snow angel, but you can imagine the alarm that this photo caused among the senior-set. They were not amused. Not at all.

We call this one “Old Married Couple”. Notice that Gwen is demanding to be heard. Not much has changed in the time since this photo was snapped.
We’re not sure what to make of this one. Is it a glimpse into frat parties yet to come? I’m worried…but it still makes me giggle.
A few years back we put this one on a Christmas card. You can imagine the uproar it caused. The sheer horror that ensued was epic. Once the grandparents’ discovered this was the Christmas card that their friends would view, they were less than pleased. We still maintain that it was funny, but it will go down in history as the year of  “that screaming card”.
If you’ve read I Am Six. Hear Me Roar, then you know that not even our school pictures are immune to future mortification. This is Joe’s official first grade photo. I’ll fess up, I was freaked out at first, but now I’m thinking that it is possibly the most awesome school picture ever. One day, we’ll cherish the laser beams and Spiderman jammies. Really. We will.

Alas, we have caved to peer pressure and reverted to the socially acceptable Christmas cards once again. I’ve already begun snapping away in hopes of capturing the perfect photograph for our 2011 holiday greeting. I figure that at some moment over the next 11 months, the stars will align and provide the perfect fake photo.

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I Am Six. Hear Me Roar!

Nothing sums up life in the Faherty household quite as well as the following…My friends, feast your eyes upon Joe’s first grade school picture.

His sixth year will go down in history as the year that picture retake day coincided with “pajama day”. I will forever hold the memory of adamantly instructing him over and over and over again that he was under NO CIRCUMSTANCES to remove his blue chambray button down shirt from Crewcuts until AFTER the picture was taken. This will be remembered as the year that my mommy instincts told me that shirt was coming off the minute the classroom door snapped closed behind me. Spiderman always wins, doesn’t he?

Our usual familial chaos caused us to miss the first photo day. The picture you are looking at was our one and only shot at recording him in his 6-year-old glory. Yet, something about it screams, Look! You’ve captured my essence! Is it the crazed look in his eyes, paired with the fake smile aimed at showcasing his newly missing tooth? No, I think not. The entire photo showcases Joe and his fantastic sense of self. His smile is confident. He feels cool. He’s making eye (camera) contact…a rare thing for Joe. He clearly felt good when the photographer snapped this bound-to-become Faherty folklore shot. He hasn’t been tainted by self-doubt and remains blissfully clueless to the humor. He simply feels invincible in this photograph. I can see it written all over his face.

He exited the bus on picture day happy as a clam. You see, I had let go of my need to control the minutiae of life and let Joe pick the background of his 1st grade picture. Laser beams aren’t generally my style. At all. Laser beams paired with cheesy Spiderman pajamas is my worst nightmare. “Don’t worry, Mom” he said, “The picture people thought it was really cool!” I bet they did, Joe. I bet they did.

You know what, buddy? I think it’s really cool too. There will be no better record of your 6th year of life. I love you and your Spiderman jammies. Don’t grow up too soon, my little boy.