They Love the Dog More!


I don’t know. I mean…what’s there to say really? I’m here typing away while a couple of hot dogs boil on the stove. The clementines are peeled and the popsicles are chilling. I’ve been feeling decidedly blah-ggy (get it?) lately. Mostly because the sun is out and, if you’ve been reading No. 7 for any period of time, you know that I LIVE for these sunny summer days. Sitting inside and forcing myself to write to entertain y’all just ain’t working for me today. Sorry. Still love you lots though!

I’m simply absorbing, experiencing and loving the simplicity of this day. Watermelons and a spastic puppy dog to entertain the girls. That tick that tried to crawl up my leg. The wasp that dive-bombed my head. Shit, even the cooler that I forgot to take out of the minivan after last week’s beach day. Sure it stunk and the mold was nasty, but you know what? It means that summer is here. Summer. The season that I love.

So Dear Reader, I hate to run but my spastic puppy dog has developed a penchant for launching herself up the side of and into the sparkling water of our Wal-Mart Glamour Pool. Unfortunately for Stella, the pool has no real means of escape for creatures lacking opposable thumbs. Each time she performs her little Jack Russell-turned-Esther Williams dive, my ears fill the blood-curdling scream of my middle girl. Evidently, the doggie paddle and/or the thought of drowning bothers her. On the up-side, it appears that all of my pool safety talks resonated.

 Actually, it’s not that funny because poor Gwennie’s little face truly fills with unbridled terror as she attempts to drag Stella to safety. The only real humor in the situation is when I paused to recall that day last winter when I nearly passed out thanks to a stomach bug and dehydration. Did my little Gwennie exhibit the same terror in the face of her dear mother’s imminent death? Nah. She stepped over me and asked her Daddy if she could have a cookie. Seriously. She didn’t even mention the fact that mommy was sprawled out on the family room floor. The experience of my daughter simply maneuvering around my lifeless form (okay, maybe I’m being slightly dramatic) on her way to retrieve processed junk food was slightly upsetting; especially in the throes of winter whilst fighting tendencies toward depression.


It all comes back to my beloved sun-filled summer days. I’m not wasting a single one. Though, it appears that you got a little bit o’ the blog out of me anyway didn’t you?
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Mommie Dearest and the Summer Boredom Blues


I’m having a day. I’ll be completely honest here and will probably offend someone in the process (or at least make you wonder if I should really be mothering three small children). But really, who hasn’t had one of those days where, by 3:00 p.m. every sound emanating from the general vicinity of your children makes you want to hop in the mini-van with a suitcase full of your favorite shoes, a pack of smokes and a copy of On The Road? Come on. Tell the truth. You’ve fantasized about a covert nap time escape, haven’t you? I have.

On many occasion, I’ve wondered exactly how stay-at-home moms can homeschool. You mean, you’re always with your kids? 365 days a year????!!!! 24 hours a day..7 days a week????!!! (What I’m saying in my head is, “Lady, you’re looney toons.”)

Can you tell that we’re on the downward swing of summer vacation and all of the fun “stuff” has started to lose it’s appeal? We’re almost at the new school year (28 days, 13 hours and 54 minutes to be exact). If that yellow bus doesn’t pull up soon I might just loose my mind. The most alarming part of this situation is the fact that the kids are only entering 1st grade and pre-school.

They’re bored. Boredom = problem behavior = mommy needs prescription meds.

Oh, the poor little things. They’re bored. Let’s bring them to Funtown/Splashtown, the beach, buy them a pool, go to Toys-R-Us, library, buy them a stinkin’ puppy, get them ice cream, go to the park, blah, blah, blahblahblaaaaaah.

What does a Mommy do when faced with such a challenge? Hmmmm..let me look for some ideas on the Internet! Oh look, here’s a blog entry titled “Bust Summertime Boredom”, I’m sure this nice lady will have some excellent pointers. Plus, it says that the ideas are also wallet friendly. Excellent!

 1. Family Dance Party.
Okay. I can do that..I’ll just turn up the stereo and get everyone to dance. “Look! Guys…look at Mommy. Hey! Let’s dance..guys…guys?”
Joe: “Mom, you look crazy. Can I have a treat?”
Gwen: “Can we go to the beach?”
At least Kate humored me with a wiggle.
2. Fort Building.
“Hey guys, wanna build a fort?
Joe: “YEAH! Hey Gwen, we’re going to build a fort!”
Gwen: unintelligible words followed by a delighted shriek.
Me: “BE QUIET THE BABY IS SLEEPING!!”  deep breath… “okay, now just go into the living room and use whatever cushions you need. Blankets too. Have fun!” Fast forward 2.5 minutes. A piercing scream comes from the family room. I enter to find that Joe has built a fort, turned on Transformers and banned Gwen from entry. The baby is crying because I yelled.

3. Family Cookbook.
Susan, the Blogging Wonder-Mommy, says that this is a great way to share your favorite cookbook with the children. Plus, all that measuring keeps their math skills fresh. She goes on to say that I should let my children pick the recipe they would like to try. Um, Susan? Won’t will also entail a trip to the grocery store? My favorite cookbook is Gourmet and the kid not glued to Transformers can barely count. I’d like to throw Gourmet at Susan.

4. Listening Game.
Susan, who is clearly doing a much better job at child rearing than I am, suggests lying down in the backyard to “listen”. What do we hear? Can you make that sound? This is what I heard:  “I hear a poo.” giggle. “Gwen, pull my finger.” Kate picked that moment to back up and plop her smelly bum on my head and Joe followed with, “Can we go to Funtown /Splashtown?”
5. I’m too bored with Susan to keep reading. I wonder what Susan would think about drawing on each other…
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