Freshly painted walls. What can I say, they excite me. I’m not sure what the expiration date is on “fresh” when it comes to paint and walls, but clearly Gwen is under the impression that fresh paint has a shelf life of approximately 6 months. My pint-sized Picasso has taken it upon herself to tackle the redesign of her room with a series of tiny, disfigured beings that may or may not represent people.
What I find fascinating is that she revamped her room with mixed media in the form of crayons, pencil, red pen and one orange magic marker. Genius, sheer genius. However, she needs a bit of work in the area of hatching diabolical plans.
Considering Joe’s penchant for all things orange, her use of the orange marker was utterly brilliant. I’ll give her that. Already, her four-year-old brain is fully capable of plotting an attempt to outwit her mother. Well-played my young friend, but not good enough! My powers of deduction and investigative skills are nearly impossible to overcome. Take notes and perhaps one day, you will outwit me. (Good luck. I seriously doubt that will ever happen – I’m the Queen of Diabolical.)
Joe is a great collector of all things orange. Joe loves to eat oranges. Joe digs the Oompa Loompas and declares them “awesome” in spite of their slightly freakish and off-putting appearance. He believes that they are the perfect shade of orange. So when I spied that enormous but indistinguishable orange blob on the wainscoting beneath your desk, I immediately thought, “&;#$%, JOE!”
What you failed to consider, young grasshopper, was Kate’s new ability to speak and she sang like a bird! You failed to silence the one and only witness to your evil orange blob-drawing deed! So when I inquired in a slightly high-pitched and piercing manner, “WHO DID THAT?” the witness clearly identified you as the perpetrator by toddling over to said blob, touching it and shouting, “Cookie!”…except that it sounded more like, “GOOGI!”
Let’s just say that opening a dryer full of clean clothes coated in orange wax does not induce a Zen-like state of bliss. Sadly, when I spied that semi-melted stick of orange wax, my brain automatically assumed that it was poor Joe who left the crayon in his pocket.
After 20 minutes with OxiClean and a brush, I had calmed down a skosh. I scrubbed the hell out of those waxy-orange stained clothes and sent them back through the washing machine. Lucky for you, Applebee’s hands out cheap crayons that don’t stand up to the power of OxiClean! (Ahem…you’re welcome for the free product endorsement, OxiClean.)
As I scrubbed and sprayed and swore under my breath, it dawned on me. Wait…that crayon was from Applebee’s? Lest we forget, our last girl’s day out included lunch at that very establishment followed by a viewing of Tangled. If my memory is correct, you filched precisely one orange crayon. You staunchly denied ownership of the offending orange stain-inducer whilst batting your eyes in my direction, but you weren’t fooling me, missy! Your lame attempt to frame your brother was evil, pure EVIL!
Now, here’s a paint brush and some Sherwin Williams-Innocent Pink. Start painting, sister!
Pssst, see that flashing brown box down below? Well, by clicking it you help keep No. 7 in the top 10 at Top Mommy Blogs. I don’t get any kind of compensation from Top Mommy Blogs, just more exposure for the ol’ bloggedy blog. More exposure means more readers and more readers makes me feel good. It’s a trickle down effect. If I’m happy, everyone is happy here at Chez Nutbag. So help a girl out and cast your vote. One click does the trick! xoxoxoxoxo